Let’s face it, there are very few times in life when you stop and say, “hmm, I feel very faithful today.”
Faith requires action, a decision, a choice to believe.
I’m learning this right now. The last visit to my doctor, I had the pleasure of hearing, “Hmm… your heart murmur is getting louder. Interesting.”
I don’t think anybody ever wants to hear their doctor say the word “interesting” in response to their health.
So Monday, I had an echocardiogram. For a while now I’ve been noticing subtle differences in my breathing and energy level. I’ve been dealing with heart palpitations, as well. It’s been frustrating. I had myself convinced I was just out of shape, but now I’m not so sure if that is the case.
Hopefully I will have the test results soon. But, until then, I choose to believe. I choose to believe that even if it is something, it’s going to be okay. As scary as it all is, I’m anxious to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I’m going to pass out.
This goes without saying… I don’t feel like believing anything right now. What I feel like doing is going home, curling up into a ball in my bed and watching reruns of The Real Housewives of New Jersey so I can forget that I’m waiting for a doctor to tell me whether or not something is wrong with my little 30 year old heart.
What I’m doing instead is listening to songs with lyrics like, “higher than the mountains that I face, stronger than the power of the grave, constant in in the trial and the change, one thing remains, your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.” I’m reminding myself that I don’t have to be afraid of this, that God is bigger and stronger than a mere heart defect. He created this heart, He can fix this heart.
Part of me wants the doctor to say something is wrong. That way I can pray and believe and be healed, then say “Look what my God did for me…”
I’m not one to keep things like this to myself. When I’m going through something, I tell everybody. Not because I want pity, but I want their prayers. Like I’ve said before, it’s my spiritual family that makes things happen when I’m too beaten to pray for myself. It’s okay to get other people in on it. Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
I believe there have been more than a few times that the prayers of others were the only reason I got through my challenge.
So right now, I’m choosing to be faithful. I’m making the decision to stand in faith, not in fear. It’s really quite empowering, realizing that God has made provision for us so we never have to be afraid or ever do anything alone. If you think about it, and you believe it, it’s incredible. It makes the world seem small and possibilities countless.
James 5:14-15 "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven."
Colossians 4:2 "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
1 Peter 1:7 "These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."