Friday, April 8, 2016

Move. Now.

I've been thinking lately about how my life seems to not have a direction. Well, I've actually been crying about it lately... feeling hopeless, worthless, lost, confused, angry.

Then one morning while driving to work, on my way to do a job that inspires no other description except "blah", I was listening to the Elevation Worship album, "Here As In Heaven", and all of a sudden I remember Details of a Love.

I remembered that God has given me such a passion for writing. I remembered that he has given me such courage to share my story and expose my vulnerability. I remembered that this is the one place where I can actually do something that would give me purpose.

I heard it so clearly while Steven Furtick shouted over the music, "MOVE. NOW."....

You need to write.

Last weekend I had a meltdown in front of my mom. "I'm 34 years old and I have nothing to show for it except a multitude of mistakes."

It's not completely untrue. I do have a menagerie of mistakes following me and the choices I've made in life, but when I look beyond the mistakes, I see so many blessings that kept me in the grace of God while I was being human and screwing up.

I want to share my experiences with you, the insecurity, the domestic violence, the battle with my health, the shame, but also the hope I have, the perseverance, the love I see every day, the blessings.

My life is good.  It's really good.  But, that's because I make it that way.  I perceive it that way.  And mostly, because I give God the reigns.

I hope that you will find comfort knowing you aren't the only one going through crap in life.  That you have people that understand and will support you.  I'm always open to chatting.  And it can never hurt to build your army of prayers, either.


1 comment:

Joey Zanca said...

That's my girl. You are in my prayers. You are surrounded by people who know how to love. Breathe. Create. Share. I love you.